opening up.

I half-expected the binding to creak and dust to fly from the pages when I opened my Bible a few moments ago. But it didn't. The Word is always good and true, no matter how much I ignore it.

You know, I talk a lot about God. A LOT. Why shouldn't I? I love Him.

But, lately, I've abandoned my God. I'm ashamed to call Him "Father" for fear of my behavior besmirching His wonderful name. I'm shamed knowing I'm a representation of Him.

Sometimes, the inch-long Ichthus on my foot is my only reminder of who I am, how I should behave, who I serve.

I've been like this for more than a year.

It's time to climb out of the pit I've begun to call "home." It's time to stop trying to run from God. It's futile.

I know improving one's life is always easier said than done. But, this time, I've got to get it done. I've got to get something done.

I've got to pursue Him.

Earnestly seek Him.

Pray.

Read my Bible.

I've got to get back to Christ, because, honestly, I don't know who I am without Him.

"When I got tired of running from You, I stopped right there to catch my breath. There Your words caught my ears, You said 'I miss You, Son, come home.' And my sins watched me leave, and in my heart I so believed the love You felt for me was mine (the love I've wished for all this time). And when the doors were closed, I heard no 'I told you so's.' You said the words 'I knew you knew.' Oh God, oh God, I needed You."
-Relient K